Recently, on Facebook, a poll was generated to ask "do you trust President Obama?" It caused me to think about the nature of trust and who I trust. I also wonder how much trust has to do with liking or not liking a person or profession.
I try to have a bias toward trusting someone until they prove they are untrustworthy. By prove, I mean repeated actions or words which are contradictory. A single incident is not enough to withhold my trust, but will cause me to be wary. Do I trust those whom I like more than those whom I don't like? Do I like or dislike based on my evaluation of my trust in them?
As a Catholic, I have had to confess many sins over my lifetime. Does the fact that I have sinned, make me less trustworthy? Does my confession make me more trustworthy? Or is it the disconnect from sin that makes one untrustworthy? In other words, the AA admission of a substance having control of one's life; does the admission make one more or less trustworthy? I think it is in conversion that one makes the turn from un-trustworthiness to trustworthiness. Mere confession/admission or discovery of a fault does not convince me that another is worthy of trust. Actions that demonstrate repentance are the proof.
What does it take for a public figure to gain, lose and restore your trust? In our neighborhood, a redevelopment is taking place. The developer has a grand vision, a costly vision. Many of my acquaintances in the neighborhood say they like the vision but don't trust the developer to execute the plan. My take on this lack of trust is that this developer has lost public trust by his method of acquiring property, his lack of maintenance of acquired property while holding it and his reclusive style. How can he possibly restore trust and confidence and gain support for his project? He has held public meetings--finally, where he has apologized for his past bad behavior, while simultaneously justifying it. He has shown us development plans he has successfully executed in the past, but under further scrutiny, their flaws are revealed. I have been told he has been quoted saying different things to different groups and individuals, yet his vision remains the same.
Back to the broader question. Once one has lost trust, how can it be regained? I welcome your comments.
Farewell!
3 years ago
posted for Cheryl Wills October 1 at 1:18pm
ReplyDeleteonce more i cannot post a comment; this time, recognizing the same old layout as before (last time it had a dif layout and i could post) i quickly copied what i wrote before it deleted all for me:)
i don't have the time that u do to put a WHOLE ton of thought into my writing as i really really wish to. but if i were to give my quick answer on how i consider to trust someone, i would say: if they are true to word, I trust them. if they break their word, are repentant, and show they are working to restore themselves, i.e. to not break their word/promise/oath/guarantee, etc I will trust them. How many times can a person break that word and repent before I stop trusting them? Well.....I am not 100% sure i can do the 70 x 7. i would wish i could and want to, as well. Likely by round 3 or 4 I would begin to doubt trusting a person 100%. by round 15 to 20? I would begin to doubt a lot, but in context, by round 20+, mmmmm......i may not trust them ever again. don't know for sure. anyway, my quick answer. perhaps the next time i sit quiet with my Creator who resides w/in (us all) i will place that question before him, take my words out of the 'picture' and let him show me where i'm off and how to change my outlook on trust and, ultimately, how to forgive. and move on.